Finding the right work-life balance is something I think most dedicated professionals struggle within their lives. As a functional medicine family practice doctor at Evoke 5 Medical Center, I know it’s something I have to focus – and refocus – on continually.
When we were younger (and before we had kids), many of us had dreams and aspirations about what our lives would be like and what we wanted to achieve. But those things take time and usually only start to come to life as we mature – and as we have more family and career responsibilities.
I’ve had many grandiose ideas and dreams for myself and my career and my life. (Hello, I still want to become President of the United States!) But as I age, I have realized that the true meaning of life is finding love and happiness, along with true partnership in a spouse and family.
Yet when we create a larger community for ourselves within a family, we sometimes feel the pressures and constraints of time. How do you manage a successful career while being present for loved ones? It’s so important to figure out what this means for yourself and your family.
There will be times when you have to be more dedicated and present at work, which means you potentially spend less time at home. This makes the time you have at home and with your loved ones all the more precious, and makes it even more important to be present in the moment. (Read more about the power of conscious living in this blog post!)
I know that in my life, I constantly battle with the levels of success that I’ve created and the time needed to sustain this success with balancing being present and a loving father for my wife and children. I have a beautiful wife and three fun little boys!
Early in my career, when I was building my own business and dream wellness center, I spent 14 to 16 hours a day working away from home. My wife was very understanding, even though we had a newborn child. I thought that I was providing for my family by building a successful business. But there were times that I realized how absent I had been from my family and things that I had missed out on.
I know that there are a lot of parents out there that have to work very hard and long hours to provide and support their families. Growing up, both my mother and father worked very long hours. There were days when I only saw them for an hour or two before bedtime. As an adult, I also found myself in this trap of being there for my family while trying to chase my dreams and success.
Over the years, I have realized the importance of balancing work and life, and I’ve set five goals for myself to help keep me on track. I’ll share them with you here, in case you, too, are working to find and maintain that work-life balance:
1. I want to always put on a smile for my children.
It’s important for them to see happiness that coincides with hard work. If my children constantly see me angry and tired as a result of working long hours, they may not want to work as hard in the future. Also, when you smile, it causes other people to smile, releasing dopamine and other feel-good hormones. I want my happiness to be contagious with my family.
2. Turn off my phone while I’m home and my family is awake.
As a functional medicine physician, I get calls and texts from patients at all hours of the day. This can be draining at times and take away from my family. Young children are very perceptive and can tell when you’re not present in their lives. I never want my children to think that my phone is more important to me than them. This is a fine balance as there are phone calls or texts that I need to answer, but for the most part when I’m off work, my family time is the most important thing to me.
3. When I get home from work, the first thing I do is greet my children at the door at their level.
I put down my work bag and get on my knees to talk to them eye to eye. I find that when I do this, my children also greet me with a great big hug and kiss. They also are more engaging at that time and tell me more about their day.
4. I talk to my kids and my wife about work and ideas that I have for the future.
I think it’s very important to have your family actively engaging in your work life. I don’t expect my wife or my children to make decisions professionally for me, but they may shed light on a situation that I haven’t thought about.
5. For me, part of being present at home and succeeding at work is also staying healthy.
An unhealthy person is less likely to have the energy to stay engaged at work and also at home. I try my best to live a healthy lifestyle with proper diet and exercise. I’m also very realistic and live by the 80/20 rule. This means that 80% of the time I eat very healthy, and 20% of the time I give myself the freedom to enjoy life with my family. Some of these indulgences give me “foggy brain” the next day, but if you are healthy overall, I find that you can bounce back quickly from the occasional unhealthy break.
Part of staying healthy for me is also quality sleep. I know many successful people that don’t sleep much and even find it counterproductive. But for myself and for most people, sleep is the time that your body needs to recover and detox from the day. (Read more about the importance of sleep and quality sleep tips.) This added energy and clarity in my life has allowed me to be more present with my children and wife, along with being more productive at work.
Many of the tricks that I have for balancing work and life are not groundbreaking or anything new. I find that we each have to find our own happiness and balance in our lives. There will be times when gaining success, building a business, creating wealth, etc., can bring us happiness. And that’s OK. We just need to balance this with quality family time. The key word here is quality: In my life, I have found that that the quality of time we spend with one another can be more important than the quantity of time.
The fact of the matter is that most of us cannot spend all day at home with our families, so it is vital for us to be able to disconnect from the outside world and external factors when we are around each other. Finding that time to disconnect and talking, playing games with our children, looking at calendars to create time for ourselves, holding our loved ones, and connecting with God and the universe is so important to finding that balance.